So I got to spend my previous three days off in Peoria, IL visiting my best friends before they move to New York...along with that I got to meet their adorable son Caedon for the first time! And see little 2 1/2 year old Ady! :) It was super exciting to visit them all! Then I drove back the night I went back on duty.

This past week just dragged on and on. I started my week super energized and relieved. I think that my time visiting Christine and the family really just relieved my stress and gave me the opportunity to just hangout and have fun, play with the kids and catch up with some old friends.  It is amazing how just that time away with great friends really cheers you up and boosts your spirits. But once this week got into it...my energy went down. We have two new girls in our cottage, which has been good and bad all at the same time. We have one girl who is being really defiant and she hasn't been here even two weeks! I know the first few weeks are always the hardest time so I am not taking offense. This is nothing new with new girls and so it is just something new I am learning. I have my first kid who "hates" me and that is hard. But I also know I am doing my job by having her hate me, not only is she acting out with me, but with the other staff as well.  It is something that is hard to handle but something that will get easier as time goes on. I honestly am not having as hard as a time accepting that as I thought it would be. Perhaps it is because I am growing use to the authority aspect of the job and that helps. Although the authority part still isn't easy, after being here for 3 months now it is getting a bit easier.

One thing I am learning quickly though is that I can relieve my stress from the girls by working out. We each have the opportunity to have a membership at the gym at the local clinic through Grace so I signed up. I have now worked out three different times. The first time was the night before I went off duty. I had a particularly hard day with our oldest new girl, who refused to come out of her room for 3 days aside from meals and bathroom...or church because we all had to leave. I ended up spending a few hours sitting in her room with her while she slept since she refused to talk to me, but just so she knew I was there in case she wanted to talk, but didn't have to and I Would still be there. So I sat there and she just was ridiculous so I needed to let my stress go. So I went and ran on the tread mill for 20 minutes and lifted weights for 15 minutes...I tell you there is nothing like letting your frustration go through working out! Not only does it help emotionally but also physically! So I have been trying to work out more often. I went yesterday to work out in the morning as well, same amount of time. Then this evening my friends Jessica and Caitlain and I went jogging around the pond. Which it was pitch dark out and we jogged close to a mile around the pond and I never truly realized why people liked running at night, with music let alone outside. But once I got out there and just started running it made sense...yes my lungs were killing and wondering why the heck I was in the cold torturing them, but I Felt free. I was at peace and just let my mind go free and enjoy the beauty of running around in the dark, always knowing where I was going but at the same time letting it soak in that nobody could see me, no sound...not even from the other runners with me, we were just soaking it in! It was wonderful! I may have been at the end of the running line...but we all didn't care we were just running at a casual pace but also working out, having fun together and letting our minds go blank. I realized that I may not be a athlete and will never be one, but to run and let my worries and stress go and just soak it all in....it is breath taking!! (both literally and metaphorically :D ) As I prepare to go on duty tomorrow night, and into my Foster Parent Training class tomorrow morning I know that although it will be tough weeks ahead, but if I keep my mind focused and clear...God will guide me to where He wants me to be, and He will relieve that stress and give me peace in many different ways...weather through running or drawing or friends...He has got me! :D