Here...There...Everywhere...The Journey of Life

It has been a few weeks since I last wrote and a few shifts later. I have been adjusting to life at Boys Cottage full time. It has definitely been a different environment compared to working at Bader with a bunch of teenage girls. For one thing it has been weird being the only female in the cottage with a household of five boys. Being considered the household "mom" is a definite weird feeling like one thing is that the guys I work with are not allowed to hang any decorations or buy decorative things without the "cottage mom's" permission. Now that is a weird feeling to me! I still even after 8 1/2 months here have not grown use to the fact of being called a cottage mom even though in essence it is what my job entails. It has definitely been an interesting experience all around. For starters I have finally gotten in the process of decorating my room at Boys Cottage. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to start decorating my room with hanging up pictures and cards from friends in order to make it more personal and more of "my room". It has been a few crazy and fun weeks trying to adjust and get things situated. One of the many fun things however in being apart of the boys cottage crew was that we decided to take a cottage photo in order to decorate our cottage more. This involved a giant mud pit and a mud fight! Yes you heard correctly...I suppose only in a small country town and a cottage full of boys would the family portrait consist of mud! I would post pictures of our portraits but it isn't allowed seeing as we need to keep the kids' privacy. However I will post some after pictures of myself, my friend Becca and my fellow friends/cottage partners Andrew and Nolan. There was fun to be had around and it was a great way to take some of the stress I have been holding out.

There has been so many changes in the past few weeks in my own life that I have put so much on hold. It is now time for me to get back on track with my own life and not let the emotional turmoil of my mom and family take its toll on me. I have come to some hard but good decisions the past week or so and now that I have accepted the changes and am sticking to them I am hoping my life will begin to take a turn for the better. I need to get my life back on track and trust that God will continue to guide me. It is funny, that although there have been a few hard decisions I feel better about the choices I am making for my life. I have had countless conversations with my Nana and many of my friends and each and every person has given me support, love and many words of encouragement that has helped me in the decisions I have been making, and I want to thank each and every one of you guys! Your input and advice has been very helpful to me and continues to help me as I know I am about to begin a very difficult journey ahead. But although the journey will not be easy I know that I am doing what is best for me and that God will continue to be my rock through these tough times.

I got to spend this past break with my friends Rebekah and Becca and I can honestly say that it has been the first break in quite a long time where the constant loom of sadness, worry and anger hasn't taken over me. I have actually been able to enjoy my time off more than I have before. Aside from a hard moment tonight as I finished up a letter, it has been relatively fun. I took care of that stress by going to the gym tonight and running a good 2 miles on the treadmill which helped me as well. I am so thankful to have such amazing friends that even in the tough times I can enjoy every moment with them and laugh and be happy. I am excited to see what is going to come within the next few weeks as well and many more fun opportunities. The road I am about to step onto will not be easy by far but I am trusting in God and know that I am not alone on this journey. Thank you all for continuing on this journey with me as well and being such an amazing support system. I love you all!

Love,
Ashley