I have now reached my 3 month mark of working here at Grace Children's Home. I am surprised and not surprised all at the same time. I hit my 3 month mark on the 22nd of March and it seems that time is just flying by while I am down here. I would have thought life would pass slow considering this is my first time completely away from home and on my own...college doesn't really count since I considered Grand Rapids my home still. It is becoming more like home to me down here and it is great! The people in the community are very welcoming and sweet. I smile every time I drive somewhere or walk when others simply wave to you as they pass in their cars...it is the wonderful thing of a small town. You don't have to know one another to be friendly and say hi, everyone is welcoming to everyone. Henderson has truly become my home and I couldn't imagine my life being any other way. My girls have already informed me that I am starting to lose my "Minnesota accent" which is kind of bitter sweet. On one end I am being a Nebraska person but at the same time I grew up in Minnesota my entire life, so to lose my accent is kind of sad too. But of course I still have those select words that are VERY Minnesotan that my girls jump right now in telling me stand out! :)

My 6 days of work this week went kind of long. To start off I had a cold for the first few days...then I got a sinus infection which I am still fighting. That is what you get when the weather changes every couple of days. Thankfully we are finally getting spring weather. It has been high 50's and low 60's the past few days which means I have pulled out my shorts! Most of the people I work with think I am nuts to wear shorts but hey that is the Minnesotan in me!

I spent most of the my days doing household projects, shopping, cleaning, taking kids to appointments...and of course my all time favorite part...getting my youngest new girl to school finally! On Thursday I had prepared to walk her to school and we were getting ready to leave. Well we asked her to put her coat on since it was like 20 degrees out (we require the kids to wear coats until it is 45 degrees at least) so 20 degrees is definitely needed! And in Nebraska when it is windy you REALLY want one! Well she refused over and over again. Well our main goal was to get her to school since it would be her first day (she refused the day before to go to school at all her very first day) So we told her if you don't wear it we are going to carry it the entire way. She threw a fit about that and when Hannah (my co staff) handed me her coat she flipped out. Not two seconds outside our front door, she threw her school books down and started walking away downtown. I took off after her at a casual pace. My main priority is to keep her safe and keep an eye on her. She told me we were stupid and she was going to the program manager since she would understand. I told her that our program manager was going to tell her the same thing and not to mention it was 7:40am so the office isn't even open yet. We spent the next 20 minutes walking around town as she tried to avoid me and get rid of me and ended up at the park where she stood and yelled at me. I tried to calm her down and talk to her which she did but in the end it was a lost cause. I asked her if she was ready to go to the office and talk to the program manager and she said yes but you don't need to follow me. Well of course I am going to anyway since it is my job to keep her safe and I told her so. So we spent a good 45 minutes talking to the program manager and finally convinced the girl to go at least half a day to school. So she spent the morning working with me on household projects. She complained a lot and I simply told her that "You can either do these projects or go to school. Those are your only options. We have work to do around here and you can't just sit around and do nothing." On a good note she ended up going to school after lunch for the rest of the day.

It was definitely a stressful situation, but let me tell you this girl is definitely kicking my authority into high gear. For all those times I never thought I was very authoritative...you could have fooled me after this girl. I am learning to become more the authoritative figure and not care if they yell at me, tell me they hate me, etc. because I know it is my job and what I am supposed to do.

The rest of the week had gone pretty smoothly. We had one girl sick, and that is kind of how I got my cold. But that is part of being a care worker and living in a house of girls. You get sick...just like being a mom. You are bound to get sick at some point it is only natural. I also got to take one of our new girls who has been here a little over two weeks now to the eye clinic. And as much as she hated me in the beginning and wouldn't talk we had an awesome conversation on the way to and from the clinic. We discussed college opportunities and things she wants to study and do with her life once she leaves Grace. Things that could have a positive affect on her instead of the things that have happened before Grace. These are definitely the moments that I store away in my mind to keep me going. It is the main reason I love working in youth ministry. To see those moments where you can walk along side a youth on their path to adulthood and sometimes to God. It is an awesome experience that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. No matter the hard times I face...sometimes one of those good moments makes up for it all!

On my time off here I am going on my second day off. I didn't really do much yesterday aside from go to Starbucks and Walmart with Caitlain. That is our usual time off trip. Can't have a break without Starbucks! :) Today was the most fun I have had on a break lately. We have been fixing up our off duty house and updating things. We finally got our blinds and curtains all up in our kitchen AND the biggest thing is that we are painting our bathroom! So Jessica and I got the first coat on tonight! Super fun stuff!

Our new curtains and blinds in the kitchen! Much better and updated!

 Becca! One of my co-staff and wonderful friend! She always makes me smile!

 Hannah! Another co-staff and friend. Silly girl but makes me smile all the time.

Painting begins!

 This was on the wall behind our bathroom mirror! We plan to add our names and 2013 to it :)

 Before shot of our bathroom. It was dark with one small window and not finished...

 Close up!

 Jessica painting along side me! We had tons of fun!

Me and a roller. We are hard at work and look at that awesome green color! What a huge difference it makes! I will post pictures of our bathroom once it is complete tomorrow with a second coat and everything is back on the walls! :)

Tomorrow as Good Friday and we are going to have an Easter Egg hunt for the girls. So Caitlain and I are going out tomorrow afternoon to hide the eggs since we are off and enjoy the day with everyone as they find them. Then Jessica and I are going to Grand Island to look for some curtains for our living room since they are in desperate need of new ones. It is awesome to be fixing up the house and that our boss is on board for us to do it and they reimburse us since it really needs a few things. Plus these are a few of the things I like doing anyways especially if I am going to live here, regardless of if I would get money back or not. I like to fix things and do house work, I guess I inherited that from my dad.

As I prepare for Easter on Sunday I am excited to be able to share the day with my girls. Since I work I get to share the meaning of Easter with them and spend time with them, it will make it a bit easier since this will be my first Easter not at home. It will be different not being at my Nana and Papa's for Easter as it is every year. But it is life and time to start some new fun traditions with the girls and look forward to the time when I return home and see everyone...it will make my time at home whenever that is all the more enjoyable!

Happy Easter Everyone! Remember God loves you, that is the reason we celebrate! He died for all of our sins and ROSE AGAIN three days later! What a miraculous thing it is indeed! Blessed be the Lord God Almighty!

~Ashley~

Pictures from my trip to Illinois and my friends :)

 Caedon...Christine and Jeff's son...my first time meeting him and it was so fun!

 He was super cute!

 Those eyes could just melt your heart! And he is super cuddly! I miss him already!

 Ady is now 2 1/2!! Last time I saw her she was only 1! Now this is what she does when you say smile :) You must say "cheese" for a nice picture lol.

 She is getting so big! And looks so much like Christine! I miss them all already!

 Aww baby Caedon! I miss his chubby cheeks already.

 Can't get over how much he looks like Jeff! Glad I can consider these wonderful friends and their kids family!

 Adorable father daughter moment...couldn't pass up!

 Teaching Ady how to do dishers while wearing her daddy's hat! Priceless!

 My friend Hannah and her pepper plants! :)

 They are growing!!

 So are her cherry tomatoes!!! :D

 Yay plants!!!! Love gardening! :D

 My other friend Becca....hiding...hmm I wonder where she went????

 :D they are growing!

 You can't see her! :D

 Then it was time to play let's wrap Becca in the rug!

 Poor Becca!

 But at least she was a good sport about it!

 Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

 Chicken Coop our program manager Laura and her husband Bret got!

 yay Chickens! :D

 More green for St. Patrick's Day!!

 I also made some banana bread this break and tried a new recipe!!

It tasted FABULOUS!! I also made Carrot Cake for our Foster Parent Training Class for this morning......yummy!!

So I got to spend my previous three days off in Peoria, IL visiting my best friends before they move to New York...along with that I got to meet their adorable son Caedon for the first time! And see little 2 1/2 year old Ady! :) It was super exciting to visit them all! Then I drove back the night I went back on duty.

This past week just dragged on and on. I started my week super energized and relieved. I think that my time visiting Christine and the family really just relieved my stress and gave me the opportunity to just hangout and have fun, play with the kids and catch up with some old friends.  It is amazing how just that time away with great friends really cheers you up and boosts your spirits. But once this week got into it...my energy went down. We have two new girls in our cottage, which has been good and bad all at the same time. We have one girl who is being really defiant and she hasn't been here even two weeks! I know the first few weeks are always the hardest time so I am not taking offense. This is nothing new with new girls and so it is just something new I am learning. I have my first kid who "hates" me and that is hard. But I also know I am doing my job by having her hate me, not only is she acting out with me, but with the other staff as well.  It is something that is hard to handle but something that will get easier as time goes on. I honestly am not having as hard as a time accepting that as I thought it would be. Perhaps it is because I am growing use to the authority aspect of the job and that helps. Although the authority part still isn't easy, after being here for 3 months now it is getting a bit easier.

One thing I am learning quickly though is that I can relieve my stress from the girls by working out. We each have the opportunity to have a membership at the gym at the local clinic through Grace so I signed up. I have now worked out three different times. The first time was the night before I went off duty. I had a particularly hard day with our oldest new girl, who refused to come out of her room for 3 days aside from meals and bathroom...or church because we all had to leave. I ended up spending a few hours sitting in her room with her while she slept since she refused to talk to me, but just so she knew I was there in case she wanted to talk, but didn't have to and I Would still be there. So I sat there and she just was ridiculous so I needed to let my stress go. So I went and ran on the tread mill for 20 minutes and lifted weights for 15 minutes...I tell you there is nothing like letting your frustration go through working out! Not only does it help emotionally but also physically! So I have been trying to work out more often. I went yesterday to work out in the morning as well, same amount of time. Then this evening my friends Jessica and Caitlain and I went jogging around the pond. Which it was pitch dark out and we jogged close to a mile around the pond and I never truly realized why people liked running at night, with music let alone outside. But once I got out there and just started running it made sense...yes my lungs were killing and wondering why the heck I was in the cold torturing them, but I Felt free. I was at peace and just let my mind go free and enjoy the beauty of running around in the dark, always knowing where I was going but at the same time letting it soak in that nobody could see me, no sound...not even from the other runners with me, we were just soaking it in! It was wonderful! I may have been at the end of the running line...but we all didn't care we were just running at a casual pace but also working out, having fun together and letting our minds go blank. I realized that I may not be a athlete and will never be one, but to run and let my worries and stress go and just soak it all in....it is breath taking!! (both literally and metaphorically :D ) As I prepare to go on duty tomorrow night, and into my Foster Parent Training class tomorrow morning I know that although it will be tough weeks ahead, but if I keep my mind focused and clear...God will guide me to where He wants me to be, and He will relieve that stress and give me peace in many different ways...weather through running or drawing or friends...He has got me! :D

Ok so this week on duty has been a crazy one but not all together horrible. I started my shift off sick unfortunately but got over the cold within a day or two. We had three girls here and the week started off pretty smoothly. Then these past few days have been interesting to say the least. One on our girls is being discharged tomorrow morning after almost 9 months here, I am excited because she is leaving successfully and going home. It will be weird not having her around though, but that is something I am just needing to get used to, that girls come and go and that is how the system works. The craziest part however has been today. We got news at 11:00am that we were going to get a new girl tonight at 5pm so I frantically ran around all day getting things situated for her coming since Hannah was gone for the morning until 11:30am with another girl for an appointment.

Then at 2:00pm I loaded up in the mini van (yes a soccer mom car which is how cool we really are) and went with Laura, one of our program managers to pick her up. But here is the twist, my friend and co-staff forgot to tell me that along the way to pick up our new girl, Laura and I were going to be doing a preplacement, which is basically meeting with a girl to see if we can help her at Grace and if it would be a good fit for her, as well as us to come to Grace. This girl we were doing the preplacement with was in a detention center...so to say the least I was in for a real treat. Which at Grace that is normal, but seeing that I had never been to a detention center before, it was a little nerve wracking on the way there, especially not knowing what to expect. We had to leave everything in the car, be buzzed in countless doors and I had to have my driver's license and my business card.....which I officially have my own business card now! :) I feel so important now.

So after presenting our stuff and getting buzzed in, we entered and talked with this girl for a good hour, almost hour and a half. And let me tell you, this is one heck of a test for me. If ever I need to grow in my authority and grow more secure in myself, I do. This is definitely something God has been working on with me while I have been down in Henderson. It was slightly nerve wracking at first, but honestly when I was in the detention center meeting with this girl, I didn't feel nervous or scared at all, and I honestly thought I would. It just continues to remind me that God has placed me in this field for a reason and that although I will face many challenges, He has got a hold of me and will protect me.

Anyway, so then after our meeting, Laura and I continued to go pick up our new girl. It is definitely going to be an adjustment I think for her because of the culture difference, with Henderson being so small it is an adjustment for anyone, even for me it was. She didn't really say a word the entire trip back to Henderson or during dinner when her and I ate. But once we started inventory, she started talking a little more, not a lot but it is a start. I think it will be a challenge to get her to listen to authority and getting up and being active especially outside, but I am being optimistic, I think she can do it, it will just need some pushing and adjusting. But for me even though it is going to be a challenge, I think it will be a good test, and I am excited that we are getting some new girls that are here AFTER I arrived so they are my girls, and I have been here longer than them so I feel more confident and empowered. This will be my second girl now so we are building our cottage up and it's exciting. It is going to be an interesting first few weeks though I think.

On some really exciting news though, I go off duty tomorrow night, and I am using a little bit of my tax return money to take a little road trip to Peoria to visit Christine, Jeff, Ady and Caedon! I am super excited to visit with them before they head out to New York. I haven't seen them in almost a year and I have yet to meet Caedon who was born this past fall so I am PUMPED to be able to spend my 3 days off with them and catch up and really just enjoy our time together. I will head out Saturday morning probably at like 6am and drive to Peoria and stay until Monday afternoon, and get back in time to start going on duty at 9:30pm. It will be a great trip. I will post pictures when I return! 

As usual at the end of my blog I put in prayer requests. This week I first off would appreciate prayers for safe travels to Peoria and back. And especially just prayer for my girls and my fellow staff members. That my fellow staff members stay strong and don't get too burned out. And for my girls, the one who is leaving tomorrow, just prayers that she will stay strong and not be dragged down again once she returns home. And for my girls currently that they continue on the right track and work towards success in their program. And especially for our new girl, that she adjusts well and begins her program well and is willing to work towards success in her program and is willing to work with us and God in order for her to succeed.

Thanks to all who continue to pray for me, I miss you all!!

Love,

Ashley                               

So this break has been super relaxing...minus the fact that I have this slight cold going on. So aside from the rolling around at night trying not to cough it has been fun. Went to Starbucks yesterday with Caitlain as usual and was a great time. Then played some Kingdom Hearts...make my brothers proud I still play video games on my days off. I also made some Snickerdoodle cookies and they are yummy! I made quite a few cookies to give to the mechanic and his wife who were kind enough to cover the expense of my back brake pads and refinishing my rotors! Then if it couldn't get any better I went in today to pick up my 2nd wheel bearing for the front axle, I paid around 113 for the first one and the second came in today and my friend Andrew is going to replace them for me to save cost. Well I go in to deliver my cookies and pick up my other bearing and Chuck who goes to my church and is the owner and friend of Grace Children's Home says "I am gonna cover this for you!" He said sometimes they make us pay and sometimes they cover costs for us since we work at Grace and we do such an amazing job with the kids! MY mind was once again blown away by the generosity of this community I live in! I am having  my mind blown every second with how this community is willing to help us out financially because we don't make a lot and because of what we do....needless to say I told him it looks like I will be making some more cookies or something soon for him as well! Needless to say that all of this kindness I have been shown this break so far is definitely out-weighing the cruddy part of me being sick!

Ashley