The Job: This year I never would have believed how much I learned and grew from working at Grace. When I first started at Grace I was definitely scared and didn't have a clue what I was doing. I came to a new career and although I went to school for youth ministry there was definitely nothing in the study books and classes about kids who run away, threaten you, cuss up a storm and much more. Through my 8 months working at Bader Cottage with a group of many girls, and my 4 months working at Boys Cottage with boys I have had many experiences and kids that made me wonder why in the world I was even in this job in the first place...not to mention how would I even make it through my first year! I spent my time at Bader wondering how in the world girls could be that crazy, not to mention when you put them all in a house together it goes nuts! Then my time at Boys has made me wonder how I can survive this smell that is constantly lingering, trying to have boys respect me as an authority even though I am female and wondering what I can do when a kid runs away, is caught with cigarettes or tries to use his male presence as an intimidation. But even through the threats, the crazy moments and the many nights I still have wondering why I am in this job I am also reminded through many moments with the kids and staff I work with that things will be okay. When I was working at Bader I loved how much I learned from firstly the staff I worked with Becca and Hannah. The two in themselves are definitely a bit more crazy then I would ever expect to be friends with (and yes I know you read this but there it is) But in many ways I know it has been good for me. It has helped me come out of my shell more. Although I am still an Introvert I am also a bit more willing to try new things. Those two were the first team I worked with and we made an awesome team. I learned how to handle kids and not back down, build relationships with the girls, keep my relationship with God in check while running a house of girls including cooking, shopping, balancing checkbook, allowance and always monthly paperwork. But even through all of that I have learned not only to manage a cottage but the importance of building relationships even a midst the hard times. Then the girls themselves have taught me a lot. I built many relationships with the girls I have worked with, and although I have now learned the importance of setting authority before relationships I think each of the relationships I have built have made me learn that not only am I teaching these girls some important aspects in life but they are also continuing to teach me how to be patient and to grow in myself. Then you switch over to working with the boys I work with now. In the past 4 months of working at Boys Cottage I have seen myself grow tremendously. I have become more confident in being authoritative and with working with boys I automatically have a boundary wall that allows me to not only have a healthy relationship with them but to also be more authoritative than I had at Bader. You then throw in my new team working with Andrew and Nolan and it makes for an interesting party. I always say I have 7 boys I take care of because there are some days I feel I need to take care of my fellow staff as well. I have found myself struggling a lot with a few boys especially in the aspect of them not respecting female authority. These past two shifts especially have been tough where I have been emotionally torn down by the comments and behaviors of a few of the boys, and I thankfully have Nolan and Andrew who continue to support me and stand up for me. They have given me that extra strength I need to at least make it through the shift even when my emotional status is about to break. I don't deny that we have our problems, but what team doesn't have conflict? But it is how we work through it and continue to support each other that gets us through the rough times. We have finally established how we want the cottage run as a new team coming in and it is great. It will definitely be hard once each of them start to transition out of the cottage once their year is up. Each cottage has definitely made me grow this past year with the relationships, the tests I face each day to simply just learning more about myself as I deal with each individual kid and the challenge they face and give me in order for them to grow but for myself to grow as well. I wish I could share some pictures with you all but if you were to ask me of stories I have tons of those for sure!
My Fellow Staff:
Words cannot even begin to describe the many relationships I have built through my year here. I have made some pretty strong relationships with some, some have fallen and even grown stronger throughout the year. If I would have thought I'd have such a great support network in the people I work with I wouldn't have believed it when I first came down here. I am truly blessed by each friendship that I have down here. They strive to challenge me, test my patience like most friendships do, and we help one another grow. As stubborn as I am, I am definitely grateful for the friendships I have. I honestly don't know where I would be especially emotionally this past year if it weren't for some of my friends. That isn't to say I am fully emotionally healed but they have definitely gotten me out of my shell and trying new things I never thought I would do upon moving to Nebraska. They have also taught me many key aspects to working and running a cottage. Each staff I work with has brought a different aspect to the cottage they work in and I have been able to apply each key thing they do well and be able to make where I work stronger. I have been able to play of their strengths and use my strengths as well. Although schedules have changed since I moved cottages I am grateful that I am able to see Hannah who no longer works with me at Bader when she doesn't work at the hospital. And even though I miss working with Becca at Bader I think our friendship has grown in many ways since we have had breaks together. I've definitely come out of my shell with her around and tried many new adventures. I have also gotten the opportunity to know Andrew and Nolan more with working with them. I didn't know them much when I worked at Bader but now having worked with them as I do, I continue to find many awesome gifts in each of them and enjoy our time together working and finding out what we have in common, and what we can do as a team to make the cottage run better, but to also be able to support one another when we are having a rocky time in our own lives. I have had opportunities to get to know Caitlain and Rebekah more on breaks which has been amazing to see how these friendships grow since we have never worked together in a cottage. It gives me the opportunity to build relationships with those I don't get to see as much but enjoy time together with.
Myself:
Which brings me to myself this past year. I can honestly say I have seen a difference in myself this past year. From taking a chance to moving to a small town I had never heard of or knew anyone was a huge leap. I have not only seen myself grow at the cottage but that in turn has made me grow personally. I have seen confidence build in myself I never knew I had. Although I still have my moments where I doubt myself, I can definitely feel confident in most of who I am. I have also been more willing to try new things this year. I have now gotten into running more thanks to my friend Becca. I have found it is a great way for me to release stress from work and my personal life. I have now accomplished two 5K's this past year, done a lot more running, and lost about 30 lbs since coming to Grace. Not to mention the weight loss probably comes from eating healthier regular meals, chasing kids around town, and running but I have never felt better about how I feel than I do now. I feel more energized since picking up running and coming to Grace. I have also had the experience of attempting to Water Ski this past summer. Although I only butt surfed this time I have faith I will get up this next summer! I have experienced a trip to Sonic for the first time...plus many more, many camp fires with friends and many more wonderful adventures. I am so thankful for each memory that has come to me being here at Grace. It has definitely made up for the many struggles I have faced as well. I have struggled, and continue to struggle with many personal problems back home that make it so hard to even explain here. The conflict going on inside my head has been a constant worry and as I prepare to go home on Tuesday it doesn't make things any easier. However, I try to be strong for my kids and make it through. The moments when I feel like crying usually are when I can't since I am working but I am happy to see some changes in the kids I work with. Although my life has been a struggle this year I am so grateful for the many opportunities I have had this year at Grace with the kids, staff and the experience itself. Even though I don't know how long I will continue to be here at Grace I am going to enjoy the most of it for the time that God has placed me here. Thank you all for your continued support through this year and the many more experiences that are to come.
Love,
Ashley
Take a look at some fun memories from this past year!
Here is to many more memories in 2014!
